I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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