i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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