i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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