Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
