I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
