i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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