no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
