just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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