First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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