I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
