??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
