i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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