Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
