If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
