My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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