he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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