Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
