i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
