YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
