you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
