She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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