Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
