so that wasnt chicken after all
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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