I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i've created a new STD.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think people are normalizing furries
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
