you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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