He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
