I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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