You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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