Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
