i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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