FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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