Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
