And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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