A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
