just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
