im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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