i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
