I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Randomize
