i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
