I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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