thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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