Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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