Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize