It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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