I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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