there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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