She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
