Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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