I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
