Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
