i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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