Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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