Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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