Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
