god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
