forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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