She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So squirting runs in the family.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
