I need help removing her.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
