i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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