I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
