Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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