The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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