I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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